A Tale of Two Suits

Woke up at a decent hour today to go suit shopping.  Elizabeth was kind enough to lend her opinion and joined my Mom and Me on our adventure to Men’s Warehouse.  Up until today my suit shopping experiences have been limited to paternal hand-me-downs and consignment piecemeal.  It was quite a different experience from the moment we set foot in Men’s Warehouse.

It was a cool December morning.  The way to our destination was hectic and filled with perilous traffic.  Never fearing death, we steadied our hearts and our minds.  It was then that the labyrinth entered our sight.  Not knowing what to expect, I was pleasantly surprised to see no minotaur but rather a normal American store.  Instantly we were asked if we had been helped and when we replied in the negative we were paired with an associate who was more than happy to be our Sherpa on this journey.  He brandished his tape measure in a fearsome manner and collected the necessary measurements.  Without a moments hesitation we were off to the racks to find our would be suit-ors.  Like an Aztec Priest he sacrificed suit after suit to the judging gaze of our trio.  It was apparent that he had done this a few times for the first suit I tried on was one of the two suits to eventually come out of this fray.  The process was draining.  It was a frantic whirlwind of fabric, buttons and criticisms.  Too brown, too grey, too long, too casual, too old, too 70’s and just No.  The few that remained of the rack were lined up.  Some easy cuts were made and eight turned to four.  A simple remark from Elizabeth turned four to three.  It was here that our tribe needed to enter serious deliberation.  It was clear that one suit was going to be purchased this day.  It was the suit I previously mentioned, a navy and silver pin striped three button.  That left us with two suits to decide between.  Now it was time for us to make our way to the land of mirrors.

We arrived and I quickly donned one of the suits to be cast under my personal judging eye.  It immediately felt right and I knew the other suit was going to have a hard time in stealing my heart.  To be fair I quickly changed suit jackets and was surprsied at how much I liked this other jacket as well.  What was a guy to do in this situation?  Ask the Girlfriend and the Mom of course.  Unfortunately the general consensus was that each suit had its pros and cons.  When the concept of flipping a coin came up we now looked at the price.  The first suit was much cheaper and Elizabeth noted how it went really well with my hair and eyes.  It was done.  I had found the two suits that were the prize of this quest.  The first already mentioned, the second being a cream/brown two button European suit.  (The description does not do it justice.)  With decisions in mind and suits in hand it was time to get the measurements for them to be fitted.

Not sterotypical at all, a small Asian women appeared out of no where.  (I would have to say Chinese or Korean, but I’m terrible at that.  I’m sorry.  I later found where she came from.  There is apparently a backroom where they do their tailoring.)  She was very assertive and had a delightful demeanor.  Directing me what to do and how to do it, she utilized her chalk blade to mark the marks that would make me beautiful.  In a very short time she had marked up both jackets, vest, and both pants.  In confused bewilderment I was directed to a table with undershirts and ties placed in two familiar jackets.  It took me a while to notice that these accessories had been place in and around MY jackets.  With their new cohorts in fashion excellence, they were truly stunning.  My mind salivated with the imagery of myself adorned with such finery.  Silently at first but echoing louder and louder the voice of reason began to ring.  While everything looked so wonderful, I realized that all these accessories were meant to destabilize me into purchasing more than the budget had accounted for.  In an effort of compromise we decided upon two ties that looked absolutely stunning; with the idea that more ties could be purchased at a far more reasonable price in the future.

Our associate drew up the designated purchases, collected my information, and handed me the slip of slips that spoke of when I should return to claim my prize.  We were ushered to the cash register where I handed him the preferred method of payment, Visa, and was informed that I had spent enough to earn a “free” gift certificate.  I am now (, in three weeks when it should arrive,) the proud owner of a fifty dollar gift certificate. (Should be good enough for another tie.)  Our Men’s Warehouse adventure drew to a close with our associate shaking all of our hands.  Our trio donned our jackets and steeled ourselves against the frigid grey of winter and in a blink of an eye we were gone.  Never to return again until a couple of weeks from now.

End Scene.

So after Men’s Warehouse my mom had to pick some things up from JC Penny’s.  She had purchased some curtain rods for the cabin and had to exchange an item.  This was Elizabeth’s first time shopping with my Mom.  My Mom is a very assertive person and doesn’t let stores take advantage of her.  It can often result in awkward situations, but I can honestly say that she gets some of the best deals ever.  The point is pretty mute since on this trip there was very minimal resistance and not a whole lot to go wrong.  I picked up some slippers and some “burgundy” shoes to go with my new suits.  Shoes are expensive.

The day didn’t end there.  We barely had time to relax once we returned home and Elizabeth and I were off again to her Aunt’s for a Christmas Party.  It’s not the present crazy type of party but just a laid back time for family to get together and enjoy some wonderful food.  We had the Patriots-Giants game on in the background.  Witnessed the Patriots going undefeated in a season.  (Actually saw this when we got back to Elizabeth’s house.)  I dropped Elizabeth off at her house and stayed for a few hours.  We watched some terrible television and I decided it was time to leave.  We have Gopher hockey tomorrow.  Gophers lost today and will likely lose tomorrow, but being around friends is always fun.  It’s possible that we might even squeeze some hockey in for ourself before we leave downtown to watch the game(s?).

Thank you Mom and Elizabeth for all your help today.  Without the female perspective, today would surely have been a disaster.

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